I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! *

*a statement made by all humans aged 2 to 92

Most people have no idea what they want to do with their lives, not just when they’re 20, but when they’re 40, 60 and 80! Don’t panic. We have 40 + years to figure it out. Let’s be clear though – those that know what they want, and have achieved it, or are well on the track to achieving it, have put effort and time into figuring out what they want.

It’s not like a simple wooden staircase where you can see the top and just put one foot in front of the other, knowing where the next step is. It’s more like a mixed terrain endurance marathon! Three things are key – put effort into knowing yourself and what you want, planning your approach, and expecting some twists and turns along the way – it won’t be linear!

How and where to put the effort? To help refine your choices you can do quite a few things, most of which don’t cost money, such as: read a lot of books, articles, or listen to audio books including those about the fields you’re interested in, people who inspire you, professional development books, biographies, brain food basically!

You can take personality and skill set quizzes or tests, talk with career advisors and mentors, get feedback from family and friends. That’s the key here – only invite people you trust and who know you well, to give feedback. Asking those that may not know you well may have some benefit but the real insight comes from those who you trust and respect and who can give feedback on different situations. Trusted and respected people is important – their feedback will be based on them wanting to give you honest, respectful feedback that supports your growth.

​If you gather feedback from those you don’t respect or trust, it may not be given with good intent, and its unlikely you’ll receive it constructively nor place any value on their comments – it’s a lot easier to dismiss a tricky comment from that person you don’t like because ‘they’re always so negative’ than it is from the family friend or manager you really look up to.

Obtaining feedback is tough, and taking in the feedback can be even tougher. There will likely be comments you don’t want to hear, or things that make you upset (human nature shows we react and focus on one negative comment not the 7 nice ones, so now you know that, you can balance your view … please! For your own sake!).

It’s not all about being desk based either. To figure out what makes you smile, engaged, energised or miserable, you have to get your hands dirty.

You can jump in a try things – spend time in new environments, travel, learn, you can reflect on what you enjoy, what you are naturally good at, and what you’re drawn to. We often feel that things that come easy to us, come easily to everybody but that is rarely the case.

Grab a pen now and mind map or list three things - what I love, what I find easy, what I’m drawn to and if that’s tough, print out the Soul Suck/Soul Shine chart here and keep an eye on things over the coming week.

“Role models are only of limited use. For no-one is
as important, potentially powerful and as
key in your life and world as you.”
​Rasheed Ogunlaru